A great Zen Buddhist master, who was in charge of the Mayu Kagi monastery, had a cat which was his true passion in life. So, during meditation classes, he kept the cat by his side – in order to make the most of his company. One morning, the master – who was already quite old – passed away. His best disciple took his place. – What shall we do with the cat? – asked the other monks. As a tribute to the memory of their old instructor, the new master decided to allow the cat to continue attending the Zen Buddhist classes. Some disciples from the neighboring monasteries, traveling through those parts, discovered that, in one of the region’s most renowned temples, a cat took part in the meditation sessions. The story began to spread. Many years passed. The cat died, but as the students at the monastery were so used to its presence, they soon found another cat. Meanwhile, the other temples began introducing cats in their meditation sessions: they believed the cat was truly responsible for the fame and excellence of Mayu Kagi’s teaching. A university professor developed a thesis – which was accepted by the academic community – that felines have the ability to increase human concentration, and eliminate negative energy. And so, for a whole century, the cat was considered an essential part of Zen Buddhist studies in that region. From the Book: Like a flowing river~
When I meditate I my cat usually ends by my side, or in my lap, as I sit cross-legged on the floor. I call this practice Cat Meditation. As others have said, cats don’t come looking for attention, they simply approach and settle in. It’s quite powerful. The cat’s purr has a healing vibration and I find it one of the most soothing sounds and sensations. What’s better than having a peaceful, warm and loving companion who is an expert at meditation to accompany one’s practice? I’ve always been fascinated by how incredibly sensitive to energy, cats are.
having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. it’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive, and it’s wanting friends while hating socializing. it’s like running a marathon with the willpower of a corpse because you want to get to the end but you also want to sleep and evaporate into the soil and become compost for snails and flowers because then at least you’re useful
i can’t tell you how many times i’ve spoken up about harassment only to be told to “learn to take a compliment”.
since when do “compliments” intrude on my space? what kind of “compliment” makes a person feel unsafe or threatened?
harassment isn’t a compliment. know the difference.
this reminds me of when I went to vegas. I saw this girl with beautiful curly red hair and it looked SO nice and she was like super hot and obviously I wanted to talk to her and see if I could get her number. So, I went up to her and said, “excuse me, hey I just wanted to tell you I love your hair its so beautiful! It really brings out your features of your face. You’re gorgeous!” she looked at me and told me, “thanks.” with the dullest face and monotonous voice. I then proceeded trying to talk to her, but she walked past me with her friends as if I didn’t exist laughing with her friends rolling her eyes as the friends saw me and noticed me and asked her about me.
Next time, I’ll just say nice titts you wanna get the hair pulled later tonight or nah? It seems to get more of a reaction.
The misogyny is strong with this one.
Women don’t owe you shit. We are not obligated to be polite or grateful when a strange man on the street informs us he finds us attractive.
WE DO NOT EXIST TO BE BEAUTIFUL FOR YOU and we are under no obligation to acknowledge or appreciate your attraction to us.
And your motivations for speaking to a woman are highly suspect if a) all you want is “a reaction”, and b) you are so hostile towards women that when one doesn’t respond in a manner that is to your liking, your reaction is to ask her if she wants her hair pulled instead.
This woman dodged a bullet. You are terrifying and need to look at your life and look at your choices.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
- Stay with us and keep calm.
The last thing we need when we’re panicking, is to have someone else panicking with us.
- Offer medicine if we usually take it during an attack.
You might have to ask whether or not we take medicine- heck, some might not; but please, ask. It really helps.
- Move us to a quiet place.
We need time to think, to breathe. Being surrounded by people isn’t going to help.
- Don’t make assumptions about what we need. Ask.
We’ll tell you what we need. Sometimes; you may have to ask- but never assume.
- Speak to us in short, simple sentences.
- Be predictable. Avoid surprises.
- Help slow our breathing by breathing us or by counting slowly to 10.
As odd as it sounds, it works.WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO:
1. Say, “You have nothing to be panicked about.”
We know. We know. We know. And because we know we have nothing to be panicked about, we panic even more. When I realize that my anxiety is unfounded, I panic even more because then I feel like I’m not in touch with reality. It’s unsettling. Scary.
Most of the time, a panic attack is irrational. Sometimes they stem from circumstances — a certain couch triggers a bad memory or being on an airplane makes you claustrophobic or a break up causes you to flip your lid — but mostly, the reasons I’m panicking are complex, hard to articulate or simply, unknown. I could tell myself all day that I have no reason to be having a panic attack and I would still be panicking. Sometimes, because I’m a perfectionist, I become even more overwhelmed when I think my behaviour is “unacceptable” (as I often believe it is when I’m panicking). I know it’s all in my mind, but my mind can be a pretty dark and scary place when it gets going.
Alternate suggestion: Say, “I understand you’re upset. It is okay. You have a right to be upset and I am here to help.”
2. Say, “Calm down.”
This reminds me of a MadTV sketch where Bob Newhart plays a therapist who tells his patients to simply “Stop it!” whenever they express anxiety or fear. As a sketch, it’s funny. In real life, it’s one of the worst things you can do to someone having a panic attack. When someone tells me to “stop panicking” or to “calm down,” I just think, “Oh, okay. I haven’t tried that one. Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper and jot that down, you jerk.”
Instead of taking action so that they do relax, simply telling a panicking person to “calm down” or “stop it” does nothing. No-thing.
Alternate suggestion: The best thing to do is to listen and support. In order to calm them down without the generalities, counting helps.
3. Say, “I’m just going to leave you alone for a minute.”
Being left alone while panicking makes my heart race even harder. The last thing I want is to be left by myself with my troubled brain. Many of my panic attacks spark from over-thinking and it’s helpful to have another person with me, not only for medical reasons (in case I pass out or need water) but also it’s helpful to have another person around to force me to think about something other than the noise in my head.
Alternate suggestion: It sometimes helps me if the person I’m with distracts me by telling me a story or sings to me. I need to get out of my own head and think about something other than my own panic.
4. Say, “You’re overreacting.”
Here’s the thing: I’m not. Panic attacks might be in my head, but I’m in actual physical pain. If you’d cut open your leg, no one would be telling you you’re overreacting. It’s a common trope in mental health to diminish the feelings or experience of someone suffering from anxiety or panic because there’s no visible physical ailment and because there’s no discernible reason for the person to be having such a strong fear reaction.
The worst thing you can tell someone who is panicking is that they are overreacting.
Alternate suggestion: Treat a panic attack like any other medical emergency. Listen to what the person is telling you. Get them water if they need it. It helps me if someone rubs my back a little. If you’re in over your head, don’t hesitate to call 911 (or whatever the emergency services number is where you are). But please, take the person seriously. Mental health deserves the same respect as physical health.
Also if you’re with someone who is having a panic attack DO NOT touch them at all unless they expressly tell you that they want you to. When I have panic attacks all my senses become extremely overloaded and the slightest touch, sound, or even taste can send me completely over the edge. Sit with them, make them breathe, tell them stories to give them something else to think about, and remind them that it’s going to be okay and that you’re there for them no matter what. Panic attacks are the scariest things ever and I wouldn’t wish one on my worst enemy.
This is the best version of Rapunzel that i have ever seen